i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
