There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
