oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
