and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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