Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
