Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
