I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
