you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Can I color on your dick again?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
