I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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