:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
