It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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