it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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