Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
false alarm, still single
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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