Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
