i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
