I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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