How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
