this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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