Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
