We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
