No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
