I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
