paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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