But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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