I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize