omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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