did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
