what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
