The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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