last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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