he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize