just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
