I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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