You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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