Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
