i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you never un-have a 4some
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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