he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we're so committed to being not committed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
