She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
