If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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