If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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