she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
