So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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