uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
