i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
