Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
These tits shall not be calmed
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
