She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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