And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
