Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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