i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
