Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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