how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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