either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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