like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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