Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She's the barista slut.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
