My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
