Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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