So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize