Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize