I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize