Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize