Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
