We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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